What is involved in a one to one coaching programme?

In the coaching training that I run, questions are often asked about how coaching programmes flow. It is not always clear what the process is for engaging with a client and then working with them until the end of a programme, either when you reach the agreed end date or the goals of the coaching are reached sooner or later than anticipated.  

For both coach and client it is useful to know what to expect and for me it can be summarised as follows:  

It can be useful to share this process with the client before coaching commences, so that they know what to expect. What do you think to this process? Is it what you practice as a coach or what you have experienced as a coaching client? Have I missed anything or is there anything you think is surplus to requirements? All comments gratefully received! 


Keeping Your Coaching Muscles Flexed

This year I have strived to improve my health and fitness, with some overall good results. Last week though I came down with a cold, and I haven’t been to the gym in a few days; this has made me a little anxious that all my hard work might be lost! When I was thinking about this it also reminded me of a conversation I often have with fellow coaches, which is, ‘How do you keep your coaching muscles flexed in times when you aren’t doing that much coaching?’

I don’t know about you, but my work seems to go in ebbs and flows, sometimes it feels that I spend most of each week coaching, whether that’s one to one or in teams. Then I look back and feel I haven’t done much coaching in a while; my time has been taken up delivering training workshops and ILM programmes. This isn’t a bad thing in itself, but like missing the gym it starts to make me a little anxious; how will I cope when the coaching ramps up again? At the moment it feels that I’m coming to the end of a few coaching relationships, I’m saying goodbye to a number of coachees who’ve reached the end of their contracted programmes. So what will I do to keep those coaching skills fresh and ready in case the next work doesn’t start for a few weeks? The chances are it won’t with Christmas on the doorstep!

Some of the things I make an effort to focus on when I’m doing less coaching are:

  • Embracing the chance to get up to date on reading; what new coaching books are out? What does the latest edition of Coaching at Work have to say?
  • Arrange pro bono coaching sessions; I offer my services pro bono to NHS staff during the year, to support the work I do for them on ILM Coaching programmes. I only have limited capacity for this but I do find it fulfilling, when I can fit it in! I often have to turn people away but when it’s quieter I make extra effort to fit them in.
  • Make sure I have some peer coaching and / or supervision. Last week I met with my peer coach Karen Chamberlain for another great session which allowed us to think about how we develop our respective businesses.
  • Do coaching practice with trainee coaches on the ILM coaching programmes I do; this is a great way to keep those muscles flexed and ensure I am challenging myself to be the best coach I can be. They are after all a challenging audience who I know will ask me why I asked question xxx or why I didn’t intervene about topic yyy!
  • Embrace every opportunity to coach; with my children for example, who are always and will no doubt remain, my biggest coaching challenge!

I’d love to hear more about what you do to keep your coaching muscles flexed when you aren’t coaching a lot. Do you find that in those times you coach your team more? Or do you look for opportunities to receive coaching yourself?


The Benefits of Being a School Governor

I have talked a lot about being a School Governor – normally a sign with me that I’m passionate and engaged about something (although I can talk about most things for some time!). Having stepped down as chair of Governors and resigned from the Governing Body at the end of last term, I thought I would use my summer blog to reflect on what the role has meant for me.

Being a School Governor is often seen as a ‘nominal’ role, taken on by well-meaning members of the community to showcase their community spirit. What many people don’t realise is just what being a School Governor entails; it’s hard work, especially when you are trying to improve a school (I went on a journey from Ofsted judgements of Satisfactory, Requires Improvement and then two Goods).

School Governors have a challenging role. Did you know that they are officially responsible (as a Corporate Board) for:

  • Overseeing the financial performance of the school and making sure its money is well spent
  • Holding the headteacher to account for the educational performance of the school and its pupils
  • Ensuring clarity of vision, ethos and strategic direction

As Chair, your role is to lead the Governing Body team to ensure that these things happen (and to manage the enthusiastic board members who want to sort out parking issues, deal with specific teaching concerns etc, all well-intentioned but not the role of a GB).

For me, the role provided a great supplement to my working life, especially as I was building my business. It gave me a chance to:

  1. Flex my leadership ‘muscle’; having been in management positions for a number of years, when I left my last employment in 2011 I was no longer using the skills I’d acquired as a leader / manager. Becoming Chair gave me the chance to keep these skills alive.
  2. Be part of a team; as a one-man band business I got lonely but being part of ‘Team GB’ as well as the wider leadership team in school – I was lucky to have a great working relationship with our Head and Deputy – fulfilled that need in me.
  3. I observed at close hand, and I hope played a small part as coach, champion and sounding board, in the school’s transformation journey. As a parent throughout most of my time in the role this benefited my children but also the wider school community.
  4. The role gave me a chance to give back to the wider community in which I live. Something that I hadn’t foreseen when I took on the role was how rewarding and fulfilling that would be; the school I was in took children from a very wide range of backgrounds and circumstances and being able to play a part in ensuring that these families and their children got the best opportunities and start in life was particularly satisfying to be a part of.

So would I recommend the role? YES if you have spare time and some experience that can benefit the school; this can be in a wide range of skills. If you’re not sure what you may have to offer, speak to the local school – you’d be surprised at what they require and how much they may need you!


What happens in a coaching session?

Building on my June blog where I explored “How Does Coaching Work?” this month I want to look more closely at what happens in a coaching session or meeting. I usually recommend 90 minutes for a coaching meeting; one hour feels like not enough to get under the skin of the issue, but two hours can be too much. The client should be thinking hard throughout the session and many find the process tiring after a while.

So, beyond active listening, powerful questioning and the other ICF Core Competencies, what goes on in a coaching meeting? I like to think that what is at play are what Nancy Kline ( describes as the Ten Components of a Thinking Environment (copyright Nancy Kline, 2010) which are:

1. ATTENTION – Listening with palpable respect and without interruption

2. EQUALITY – Treating each other as thinking peers – Giving equal turns and attention – Keeping agreements and boundaries

3. EASE – Offering freedom from internal rush or urgency

4. APPRECIATION – Offering genuine acknowledgement of a person’s qualities – Practicing a 5:1 ratio of appreciation to criticism

5. ENCOURAGEMENT – Giving courage to go to the cutting edge of ideas by moving beyond internal competition

6. FEELINGS – Allowing sufficient emotional release to restore thinking

7. INFORMATION – Supplying the facts – Dismantling denial

8. DIVERSITY – Welcoming divergent thinking and diverse group identities

9. INCISIVE QUESTIONS – Removing assumptions that limit our ability to think for ourselves clearly and creatively

10. PLACE – Creating a physical environment that says back to people, “You matter”.

Nancy Kline has identified that these elements are key to helping someone to think better, saying that “Everything we do begins with thinking. If our thinking is good, our decisions are good, our actions are good, our outcomes are good.”

When you look through the Ten Components, I’d encourage you to ask yourself, when did someone last give me the space for all of these elements? When was I encouraged and appreciated, and asked to express my true feelings? But equally when was I asked Incisive Questions which made me question what is and why?

For me coaching is about all of these factors, and the role of a coach is to create a space which enables these to happen. I have recently become part of a Bird Table Coaching group, which subscribes to the Nancy Kline approach and I truly value the opportunity that these sessions give me to work within a group where I feel safe yet challenged to explore questions I have about my business and my practice (not just fellow coaches, in the group is a Pilates Teacher and Will Writer, amongst others). So, if you’ve been wondering what happens in a coaching session, why not give one a try? After all, what have you got to lose (other than possibly 90 minutes of your life!) but you really could have everything to gain…


How does coaching work?

Coaching - helping the client develop and move towards achievement of their goals

Coaching is a client led activity – this means that the coach is led by the needs of the client; what would they like to achieve from the coaching? What is challenging for them at this moment? What about the next time they meet? And what does their organisation want them to achieve and how can we do this together?

Sometimes coaching can be seen as a nice chat, but that’s far from the truth! There are coaching models, GROW the most well-known, there are tools to help move thinking forward and the role of the coach is very much that of facilitator; the coach helps the client develop and move towards achievement of their goals.

For me there are three stages to a successful coaching relationship;

  1. Building awareness; a key ingredient of coaching is the development of awareness. This can be self-awareness, where the coachee gets to understand themselves better and realise the impact that they have on those around them (not always negative impacts, many people don’t’ realise how much they are valued and appreciated and what for). This can also be awareness of what’s happening; what is it about your time management that doesn’t work for you? What is happening in the moments when you feel stressed out in work, rather than coping with everything that’s thrown at you. Often developing this awareness is when the ‘light bulb’ moments of coaching occur.

  2. Understanding; once you can identify what’s happening, coaching can help you to explore why things happen. Why do you get angry with your manager when they say to you “Well done?”, why is it that a three line email has tipped you over the edge of your tolerance, and why do you suddenly feel deskilled when you’ve been doing your job for 20 years?

  3. Developing strategies; from understanding can come action. What can you do to find out what’s expected now? Who do you need to speak to and what do you need to say to them? Are there current job specs available and how do they compare with yours (do you even have one)?

    What do you need to ask your colleague to do to show thanks and how can you ask your Manager to stop making you feel like a child – or how do you learn to live with these things? Or is it time to leave (see my other blog post, There’s Always a Choice).

    Once you know what you want to do, your coach is there to support you in implementing the changes you want to make.

Does that sound like a cosy chat to you? There’s structure, purpose and depth to good coaching and good coaches are trained in the skills that they need to support this process. If you want to know more or discuss this view, do get in touch! You’ll find me on LinkedIn or drop me an email.


What have you forgotten that you know?

question mark

My coaching activities give me the opportunity to see many people develop through their career, some I have worked with at different stages as they have progressed (and as I have been coaching for longer!) and others I meet with at a specific point in their career. Often this is when people have experienced change – change into a new role, new organisation or new context; perhaps their team has been moved into another area, they have a new manager or new demands are being placed on them.

My activities also give me a unique insight into how people cope which such changes at a personal level; are the changes stressful for them? Invigorating? Energising or simply scary? Either way, coaching definitely helps them to view the changes more objectively and to manage them better.

One common theme that I have observed across all these situations is that after change, some people forget some of the skills that have got them to where they are now – perhaps because the demands of the role are significantly different or because their expectations of themselves have changed. It’s a difficult problem to identify – how can the coach know what someone has forgotten if they aren’t aware of it themselves?

For me, it has emerged in a variety of ways; some key questions, such as ‘what else do you know that could help in this situation?’ can uncover a range of skills that someone is not using. Or ‘what would you have done in your former role / life / organisation?’ changes someone’s perspective and helps them identify those learnings that they’ve used in the past but hadn’t thought of as being relevant to their current role.

I’ve seen two great yet similar examples of this with clients in the last couple of years. Both had been promoted from customer facing roles to more senior internal roles, where they needed to influence a range of internal people, who were doing a range of different jobs, spread across the globe.

My clients were grappling with trying to make things happen in a matrix structure; one in which they would be judged on the outcomes of projects but where they had no hierarchical authority over those they were influencing to make the projects happen – they couldn’t simply resort to a ‘just get on and do it’ approach. In both cases I asked just one question ‘how would you have positioned this if you were trying to influence a customer / prospect to get this done?’ Out poured a broad range of effective sales and marketing strategies that they could use to not only influence the outcomes of the projects but to make people engage willingly and positively – strategies which meant that there was no need to be authoritative, simply to treat the internal contacts as internal customers.

This is just one example I have encountered where people have forgotten, possibly even neglected skills that were once so crucial to their success. So, what have you forgotten that you know? And how could those skills help you be even more effective at the job you’re doing now?


Coaching boundaries: workplace versus life coaching

A regular question that comes up in the coaching training I run and the coaching supervision groups that I work with is ‘What is the difference between work and life coaching?’ and more specifically, ‘At what point does workplace coaching stray into the realms of life coaching / something else, and what should I do about this?’

Whilst grappling with this in a recent supervision session, we developed what I think is a clear model which can help to answer these questions. It highlights the difference between the two coaching practices and also helps to define when to refer a workplace coaching client to another professional, perhaps a life coach, therapist, counselor etc., all depending on the presenting issue. The model is outlined here:

Workplace versus life coaching boundaries Feb 17

Clearly, when we are coaching we are always dealing with the full person. However, in a workplace context coaches are typically engaged to help improve performance or effectiveness in the workplace, often sponsored (and paid) by the employer. In such cases there needs to be clarity for the coach about what topics to coach and what not to coach and this is what was raised in the supervision.

The model above shows that a workplace coach still works with the person but that the focus is on the person in work. However, work topics are not immune to personal pressures; this can range from being regularly late for work due to caring responsibilities or finding work stressful because the hours a job demands eats into personal / home life considerably. The question remains though, when does a workplace coach refer?

The conclusion using the model above is that there is always a grey area (work / life boundary) which I would argue is very much part of workplace coaching, but that if the topic of the coaching has strayed out of that dotted area altogether it is no longer the realm of the business / workplace coach but should be referred to a life coach or other appropriate support professional. This has certainly helped me when supporting both workplace coaching clients and those I supervise, to more easily see when it’s time to refer!


There’s always a choice!

“If you can’t accept it, change it. If you can’t change it, leave it.” Anthony Gucciardi

I recently came across the above quote and it summarised something that I have observed in my now 6 years as a freelance coach, coach trainer and supervisor.

Coaches often find themselves working with people who are unhappy or dissatisfied with the ‘status quo’ in their life. These people can be stuck in a rut, psychologically or for some other reason, perhaps they feel they are caught in a trap financially or stuck in a job they hate because it accommodates their personal life. What this quote highlighted to me that anyone in such a situation has three choices, and even if they stick with the status quo, they can do so having explored the other two choices, meaning that the status quo becomes an informed choice rather than a stuck position. So, what do these choices look like?

1. Change it
Change isn’t always easy but changing small things can be very powerful; having a mature conversation with the ‘difficult’ colleague about what you find hard in working with them (I had a colleague who insisted on drumming the desk next to me all day with his fingers and it turned out he didn’t realise he did it!) and discussing how you could both work together differently, could turn a sour relationship into a productive one. Looking for people who like the tasks you hate and may willingly take them on, can be a simple way to change the things that are causing you to be dissatisfied.

2. Leave it
If work really is that bad what is stopping you looking for another job? Coaching can help people to overcome the barriers that are stopping them and allow them to have the confidence to move to a totally new environment, maybe pursuing a long-held dream.

3. Accept it
You may find it hard working with a particular colleague or there may be aspects of your job that you’ve come to hate but in many cases there is truth in the phrase ‘better the devil you know’. So how can people learn to accept it? There are a range of options:
a. Explore the pros as well as the cons of the situation
b. Explore why someone chose to be there in the first place and what the other options are. This often results in people remembering what is good about their situation.

So what will you do? Change it, accept it or leave it? Could some coaching help you work through what are essentially three choices? Once these are broken down into three choices, the obvious choice can be easy to see.


Implementing a real coaching culture

In many organisations coaching is more than just a standalone activity to support the development of individuals. For good reason, it is often adopted as a means of encouraging development of an empowering or open culture. With the idea of questioning and listening at coaching’s core and with a belief that everyone has the potential within themselves to achieve, it is an obvious line for organisations to take to develop in this way.

However, despite good intentions I have seen that this approach often falls at the first hurdle or fails to develop beyond a pocket of good coaching practice, even where there is a strategic desire for coaching to take hold. My experience of working with a wide range of organisations and the research that I have carried out, has led me to conclude that this is often down to the fact that not all the necessary activities have been carried out to ensure that coaching is holistically embedded in the organisation.

For coaching to be a truly successful activity, four key cornerstones of action have to be implemented, as shown in the model below, the Coaching Culture Kite (CCK).

CCK Diagram

These cornerstones of a successful coaching culture are often implemented in isolation, sometimes two or three of them are used, but without all four it can be very difficult to create the truly ‘safe space’ which is an essential ingredient of a coaching culture. If any of these aspects are missing the coaching jigsaw will never be complete:

  • Without a clear strategic reason for introducing a coaching culture, there will be a disconnect between current and future strategic planning and a lack of impetus to introduce coaching conversations into the everyday dialog of an organisation. A board level sponsor to back up the strategic thinking about coaching provides someone to support the necessary time and financial commitments that introducing and maintaining coaching requires, as well as having someone to ensure that coaching remains wedded to the strategic vision of the board.
  • A willingness to invest time and / or money is essential because a coaching culture does not happen without people giving up time from the day job to carry out formal coaching or changing day to day behaviours to listen properly and ask the searching questions necessary for a coaching culture (as well as going through the initial pain of watching people learn for themselves). In order for behaviours to change people need training on how to do this, another cost of either time (if carried out with internal resources) or money (if outside resources are needed).
  • For coaching to become embedded through an organisation, people have to see that it is working. This is best done through the sharing of good practice and successes at the coal face of the organisation. This approach helps to ensure that coaching is seen as something for everyone and not just another top down or HR led intervention.
  • Even the most informal coaching cultures need a framework to define the boundaries and purpose of coaching in the organisation and the ethics surrounding this. Responsibility for these factors and the day to day management of coaching resources (people and collateral) needs to rest with someone (often but not always HR or Learning and Development) to ensure that good practice is carried forward day in, day out and year in, year out.

Only with a balance of these four cornerstones can the ‘safe space’ for a truly successful coaching culture come about.


The Spectrum of Dialogue

A number of times in my coaching practice I have worked with clients who are nervous about speaking out, perhaps through lack of confidence, a concern that their views won’t be taken seriously or sometimes due to their behaviour preferences – they are simply happy to take a quieter role in the team. However, most modern working environments are ones where the loudest and most vocal are the ones who get noticed, so this reticence to speak out can be a genuine hindrance for people who want to move on in their careers.

Such clients in senior roles often get feedback that they need to speak their opinions more clearly and to push back more – in fact this can be the sole reason for their coaching. When exploring this with clients, it often transpires that they have been taught that speaking up is on a par with being rude or disrespectful; these people are often used to playing the listener role in their teams. So how can they develop their thinking to enable them to push back to peers and even managers to help them move on?

Working with such a client recently, we identified that he considered anything other than acceptance of the other person’s opinion as a possible confrontation; that by putting forward an alternative view he may be seen as difficult. This seemed a strong view so we unpicked it further and as a result identified the Spectrum of Dialogue, a definition that there can be many ways of communicating viewpoints, most of which are far from confrontational.

The Spectrum of Dialogue starts off with a simple response; for example, I acknowledge your view and agree with it. It then moves to stating your point; for example, I acknowledge your view but my view is different, it is …. The next is to ask questions to understand the other person’s view; for example, please can you explain why your view is the right one? What evidence do you have to support this view? Such questions allow you to understand the other person’s view, so they can genuinely convince you. Without this how can you change your mind? And how can they change theirs?

Sometimes though there is a need to be more firm. So, the final stage of the spectrum is challenge; where you stand your ground and make a statement that your view is the one to be followed; good leadership sometimes calls for firm decisions by the person who is in the position of authority, so challenge and firmness can often be fully justified.

Spectrum of Dialogue

Defining the client’s conversations and discussions in this way, empowers them to see that they can have an opinion without being seen as difficult. By stating their case or asking questions to better understand the other person’s viewpoint they are simply being professional and inquisitive.

I’m delighted to say that not only has the client put this in to practice but he’s recently been promoted to a more senior management role! This was a small part of the excellent work that he does but certainly helped him to push back and stand his ground, as was expected of him.

So how can the Spectrum of Dialogue help you to be clearer in your communication to get what you want? Could it help you to justify why you are due for a promotion or ready to take on new work? Don’t forget, you will be asking in the nicest possible way!